


tell me you’ll come home (even if it’s just a lie)

by azumarheart



Series: The Aftermath [7]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Max is grieving, Post-Canon, Soccer Mom Steve Harrington, Steve is a good friend, anger issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:14:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22160899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azumarheart/pseuds/azumarheart
Summary: Max isn’t sure what time it is. Time keeps slipping away in little pockets.The next thing she knows, she’s home.And it's time to tell her mom and Neil about what happened to Billy.aka Max arriving home after the Battle of Starcourt and dealing with the loss of Billy
Relationships: Billy Hargrove & Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair
Series: The Aftermath [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1499990
Comments: 19
Kudos: 73





	tell me you’ll come home (even if it’s just a lie)

**Author's Note:**

> I highly recommend you read my character study of Max first! I really detail Max and Billy’s complicated relationship in it which gives this fic more depth.   
> Also part 2 of 'The Aftermath' series is about Steve and Robin going home which kinda precedes this. Not necessary to read but its there!
> 
> I tried to put pictures in this too. Lemme know if there’s any problems please!
> 
> Title from ilomilo by Billie Eilish
> 
> Comments make my day and I’m always happy to ramble about this show 💕

Max isn’t sure what time it is. Time keeps slipping away in little pockets.

One moment Lucas is holding her while she sobs over Billy’s dead body. In the next, a paramedic is wrapping a shock blanket around her shoulders. 

Max watches as El breaks down and Joyce runs over to hold her. Lucas grabs Max’s hand tight as her breathing picks up. 

The next thing she knows, she’s in the back of a police car. A professional looking woman is turned around in the passenger seat and seems to be trying to get Max’s attention. She tunes back in.

“-xine? Maxine, darling, can you hear me?” the woman asks.

Max nods. The woman grins. Max thinks of the black stained teeth Billy had bared. She swallows hard.

“Alright sweetie. I need to go over the story with you. Your parents can’t know what happened. And I need to know your family dynamics in order to tell them about... your brother.”

Max blinks. She digs her nails into her palms. Releases them. Breathes.

“My mom is sensitive and anxious. She’ll probably cry. Even though he was just her stepson and was... mean. Neil is...” 

Max has to break to swallow hard again. It feels like her throat is closed entirely.

“Neil is abusive. Was. To... Billy. He might fake being sad. He’s... he’s a bad guy. He won’t care for the details.”

The woman looks at her with concern. 

“Do you feel safe going home Maxine?”

“Yes. He’s never hurt me. Only Billy,” Max says with a tone that leaves no room for argument. 

The woman nods.

“Okay. So, our backstory is that the mall’s contractors did work improperly and the structure was unstable. A crazy communist wanted to blow up a store and the whole thing ended up collapsing. You were there with your friends and made it out fine. Chief Hopper died inside as well as your brother. It was a quick and painless death,” the woman said, reading off a paper in front of her.

“Sound good?” she asks, turning back to Max.

Max breathes in. Closes her eyes. She feels dizzy. Opens her eyes. Breathes out.

“Make him a hero,” Max whispers.

“What?” the woman asks, brows furrowed.

“Billy saved us. He died protecting all of us. In real life. So, I want that in the fake narrative. Tell them he saved my friends and I. Pushed us away from a falling beam or something. He died honorably.”

The woman stares at Max. Max stares back with all the stubbornness she has in her body. The woman blinks first, then sighs.

“Okay. I’ll have to tell the boys back at the scene, but that’ll work. Billy Hargrove died a hero.”

Max nods and leans back against the seat when she sees that the woman is done talking.

Time skips and she’s at her front door. The woman and the officer who drove stand behind her. They ring the bell.

Stomping is heard. Max can tell that Neil is mad. He probably thinks it’s Billy finally coming home after days of being missing. He sounds ready to yell. 

The door is flung open, and Neil’s voice cuts off from the yell he was about to unleash. The woman subtly runs her thumb over Max’s wrist in an attempt to comfort. Apparently she noticed his anger too.

“Maxine. What’s the meaning of this? Has she gotten into some trouble?” Neil says gruffly, eyeing her suspiciously. At the lack of yelling, Susan apparently decides it’s okay to come out.

“Max, baby? What’s happened?” her mother says softly, inching towards the door. The gentle tone makes Max’s throat close and her hands shake. She can’t handle this. Oh god; she can't handle it.

“Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Hargrove. My name is Rhonda Jones. We need to discuss some events that occurred tonight. I think it’d be best to sit,” the woman says. 

Neil is surprisingly compliant and leads them inside to the living room. Susan tries to scurry to the kitchen to offer drinks, but Rhonda asks her to take her place on the couch.

“Tonight, an incident occurred at the Starcourt Mall. A disgruntled customer with a history of radical communist views decided to attack a store he had been thrown out of for disorderly behavior. He bombed it tonight. In addition, the mall structure was apparently unstable. The contractors had allegedly cut corners, so when the bomb went off, many areas in the mall collapsed.”

Susan gasps. Neil looks uninterested and annoyed.

“Your daughter Maxine was one of the civilians who was inside. She was with her friends at the time. As you can see, she is physically okay, but is still in shock.” 

Neil goes to open his mouth, but Rhonda raises her hand to stop him. 

“There’s more. It has to do with your son.”

There’s a moment of silence, and the tension grows as it continues. Neil looks carefully blank. Susan looks anxious: darting her eyes between Rhonda and Neil. Max feels nauseous.

“Billy was also in the mall. He was apparently trying to escape, when he saw a support beam about to fall onto Maxine and one of her friends. Billy saved them and pushed them out of the way. The beam... the beam fell on him. I’m sorry to say that Billy is no longer with us.”

The room is draped with silence again. The words strike Max in the chest. She throws up in her mouth a bit, but chokes it down. It feels like acid is burning through her skin.

Susan looks horrified and her trembling reach up to cover her open mouth. Neil looks... constipated. Almost like... like he’s trying to force sadness. Max glances at Rhonda. She seems to believe the look on his face. Max begins to shake with fury at the fake grief he’s displaying.

“I want you to know that your son died a hero. He died protecting his sister and another young child. I hope you will remember him as such.”

Rhonda stands, after squeezing Max’s hand tightly. 

“For now, we’ll be leaving. If you need anything, please call the number on this card. We’ll be in touch about funeral proceedings and if you would like to see him one last time. I’m sorry for your loss. Goodnight,” Rhonda says softly, before leaving with the officer. 

As soon as the door closes, Susan lets out a sob. It’s quiet, but rough, and Max looks over to watch her heaving shoulders. 

“A hero? Bullshit. Probably just wanted the attention to be on him for ‘saving two kids’. Whatever. Now I’ve got to clean all his shit up,” Neil huffs, looking annoyed. 

Max feels the anger in her spread like a burst of fire. Pure lava drips through her veins. 

“Shut up! Shut the fuck up! You can’t _say_ shit like that! Billy died to save me! He died to protect me! He was _good_! He was a good brother! He was _such_ a good person deep down! It’s because of _you_ that he became rotten! _You_ ruined his life and made him mean! All you’ve ever done is hurt him! And now he’s dead, and you have the _audacity_ to act like he didn’t even matter? What the _fuck_ is wrong with you? I hate you! I hate you so goddamn much Neil!”

“Billy’s dead and he didn’t deserve that, he deserved the chance to fix himself and be happy! But he’s dead, he’s dead because of me, and because of you, and I can’t do anything! So shut up if you’re going to be cruel about this! Just... _**shut up**_!” Max yells. It becomes a shriek by the end. 

It feels like every bit of pain, stress, frustration, fear, grief, anger, sadness, and every other volatile emotion in her has spewed out. She’s left panting from exertion. It’s only when she tries to inhale, and is met with stuttering and raw lungs, that she realizes she’s sobbing. They’re loud and rough sobs with nothing held back- like a two-year old lost in the haze of a crying fit. 

Susan jumps up to hold her but Max jumps back. She’s breathing really fast. She thinks she might be hyperventilating. 

“Don’t touch me! Don’t! I can’t... I can’t... I can’t be here!” 

Max rushes past Neil’s shell-shocked form, and into her room. She piles clothes and necessities together but stops herself when she starts to pass by Billy’s room. She can just barely hear her mom and Neil talking over the blood roaring in her ears, so she steps inside.

The room is just how he left it. The Mind Flayer didn’t seem to make him interact with his room much, minus the dirty clothes in the corner. 

Max walks slowly towards his closet, feeling like she’s intruding the whole time. Her breath continues to hitch on cries, but they’re quiet now. The tears pour, but her loud sobs have ceased. 

She reaches into the closet and pulls out one of his large hoodies. Billy didn’t wear it often, unless it was freezing outside and he was home for the day. The black material is worn and soft. It smells faintly like cigarette smoke and his cologne and him. Max shoves it in her bag and goes to leave. 

But something stops her.

On his desk, a lamp is on. It shines perfectly upon two slightly crumbled and scribbled on pieces of paper. The black ink is frantic and smudged, but in bold at the top, she’s able to read ‘MAX’.

Max gulps. She grabs the papers and shoves them into her bag as well. Then she heads towards the front door.

“Max. Max, baby, where are you going?” her mother asks, trying to grab her hand. Max’s breath picks up again.

“I’m going to a friends. I can’t be here. I can’t- not tonight. I’ll... I’ll be back. Just... not tonight,” she replies with a shaky voice. 

Neil says nothing, looming quietly in the doorway of the kitchen. Max closes the door behind her and doesn’t look back.

She grabs her skateboard and runs to the street.

Now, she doesn’t know where to go.

She wants Lucas, but she doubts his parents will let a girl stay over. Dustin isn’t high on her list, but his mom will likely have the same time. She has little desire to seek comfort from Mike, although she will if she needs to. His house is probably too busy though.

El is likely with the Byers. And although Max yearns for her friend, she knows that El needs to process her own grief right now. Same with Joyce. And Will deserves a night off after being connected to the Mind Flayer again.

Who did that leave? 

Steve.

Max has been to Steve’s place a few times over summer. He hosted some small pool parties for the teens, as his parents were rarely home. 

Steve can help her. Steve will listen.

Max takes off down the street.

The wind whips at her face, but the night air is refreshing. It feels good to breathe in. The gravel underneath her board rattles her body in a way that becomes pleasantly numb after a while. Street and house lights burn her eyes until everything becomes a blur of reds and yellows.

Another pocket of time gone. 

Next thing she knows, she’s coming to a stop at the driveway’s end of Steve’s home. Most of lights in the house are off, which makes it easy to see a faint glow towards the back of the house. Steve is in his room, then.

Max stands in front of the door, but is unsure what to do. It’s locked, and Steve is probably asleep. Can she climb to his window? Will he attack her? He’ll likely be skittish after the events of the day. 

She gives up. She’s so tired. She doesn’t know why she thought this was a good idea.

Max plops down onto the top step of the entrance and unzips her bag. She sees the papers from Billy’s desk and pulls them out. Underneath is his jacket, and she pulls that out too. 

Max allows herself to take a deep smell of the jacket. She knows it’s weird and she knows if Billy was here, he’d be judging her hardcore. But he’s not, he’s gone, and this is one piece of him she’s allowing herself to keep.

The night air is growing colder, so Max slips on the hoodie. It’s huge on her, but it’s comforting.

After zipping her bag back up, she reaches for the papers again. Her heart pounds as she looks at them.

The papers are crumpled and smudged. The writing is frantic and shaky and messy and it burns Max up inside to see the panic in Billy’s handwriting. 

> MAX
> 
> Max Max I’m sorry it won’t leave it won’t get out of me  
>  I don’t want to hurt I don’t want to it hurts I don’t want to hurt anymore  
>  Im sorry Max I can’t control my body anymore its INSIDE ME  
>  it burns I want it out out out
> 
> it lets me in control sometimes but never fully  
>  I think this might be the last time it lets me  
>  its getting stronger it keeps taking taking taking Max Max Max Max  
>  I don’t want to but it makes me  
>  please forgive me Max you’re the only one who can   
>  YOU KNOW the real me MAX PLEASE
> 
> Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry   
>  MAX I LOVE YOU  
>  its back its  
>  goodbye  
>  Max

The last words trail off with dark black smudges. It’s hard to tell if they’re from the ink or from the black sludge of the Mind Flayer.

Max is sobbing again. She presses the palms of her hands into her eyes, and just lets it all out. 

Billy was so scared. He was in pain. He couldn’t stop what was happening. He was stuck watching his body hurt people. He wanted Max to trust him, to believe him, to forgive him. 

He believed in her. Believed she was his only savior. 

He loved her.

“Max?”

Max spins around with a choked off wet noise. 

“S-Steve?” Max asks, scrubbing at her eyes.

“Yeah kiddo, it’s me. What’re you doing out here?” 

Steve walks out and stands next to her. His hair is still wet and floppy, like he showered recently, but it's messy enough that she can tell he’d been asleep.

“I-I’m. I couldn’t be at home. I... they told my mom and stepdad about Billy. I couldn’t... I couldn’t take it, I had to go. I had no where else to go but... but you were asleep and...I read this letter that was on his desk and-” she trails off, breath still hitching on small sobs.

Steve looks at her worried and sticks out a hand to pull her up. She takes it.

“Okay. Well, let’s get you inside. Then we can talk about the letter if you want.”

Steve sits her down on the couch and leaves to grab her some water. When he sits down next to her, she thrusts out the papers.

“I. I can’t read them again. Not now. Just... just read it please,” Max begs. The black lines burn her eyes, so she looks away as Steve takes the pages.

It’s quiet as he reads, and Max tries to relax back into the sofa. The bugs outside chirp and the grandfather clock in the corner ticks and she tries to focus on those things. 

“Fuck. This is. This is some heavy shit. I’m so sorry Max,” Steve whispers through the quiet. 

Max turns back to Steve and sees how he stares furrow-browed at the note. Not quite confusion but... like he’s trying to figure out a puzzle.

The need to defend Billy and to explain what she’s thinking bubbles up inside until she can’t contain it.

“He was good Steve. I know it doesn’t really seem like it and I know no one is required to forgive him. But I can’t stop trying to convince people. Because I know. I’m the one person who knew.”

“Neil beat the _shit_ out of him. Constantly. Always manipulating the conversations, always speaking down to Billy, always hurting him. I saw him in pain so many times and it _killed_ me.”

“Growing up in a house like that... no one else gets it. Billy was like a caged animal. Either you cower in the corner or you lash out. Cowering didn’t work. It never helped, never stopped it. So he started to lash out. Only, he couldn’t lash out at Neil. It just made it worse. So he lashed out at everyone else. I think it made him feel in control. He couldn’t stop once he started.”

“There was this one night when I tried to stop it. I pushed my way in and accidentally got punched by Neil. He left and... Billy took care of me. He was kind and quiet and explained how it had to work. He didn’t want me getting hurt. Billy said that he had to take all the pain. He apologized for being a dick.”

“I know he was good. I’m the only one who did. Maybe that’s why I can’t get over it. He died as someone who never got a second chance. It just.... it hurts so _bad_ ,” Max breaks off with a whine. She covers her face, but Steve pulls her in close anyways.

His hug and warmth is comforting, so she lets herself cry for a bit. Steve stays steady and quiet throughout it all. He only speaks once she starts to wipe her face off.

“I’m sorry Max. I really am. I can see how painful this is for you, and now I understand why even more. Like, even though Billy was an asshole, I can see that there were reasons behind that. And you were the only one who knew the whole truth of that. We can’t do anything to bring him back. But I don’t agree with you on one thing,” Steve says carefully. 

Max looks up at him in confusion but he just gives her a sad half-smile.

“He did get a second chance. El broke through the Mind Flayer’s control and gave Billy the chance to be a hero. And he took it. He could have ran. He could’ve still given El to the monster. But instead, he sacrificed himself to save not just us, but the world, really. At the end of the day, he got his redemption. He proved that he was good.”

They sit in the silence of Steve’s words for a minute. Max sniffles and wipes her eyes again with a muted whimper. Steve strokes her hair gently.

“You’re... you’re right. Thank you. Thank you Steve. I...I needed to hear that,” Max whispers. Steve smiles softly and sits up.

“Anytime kiddo. Now let’s have you go shower and we’ll get to sleep, okay?”

Max follows him up the stairs. 

“Okay, so Robin is asleep in my room. Just so you know.”

Max raises an eyebrow at him, but he just rolls his eyes.

“Anyways, I’m offering this to you because Robin needed it too. If being alone in the bathroom is too scary, I can stay in with you. I’ll close my eyes and turn away and shit, but it’s comforting to not be alone. No pressure though,” Steve whispers when they reach the top floor.

“Um... I think... I think I’m okay. Just maybe... stand outside the door though?” Max replies uncertainly. 

“Of course.”

Max showers and the sound of the pouring water drones in a soothing way. Her talk with Steve helped apparently. Her frenzied thoughts and emotions have settled now. 

She avoids looking in the mirror as she dresses until she slips Billy’s hoodie back on. It’s way too large for her frame, but it’s a comforting sight. 

He’s still with her even though he’s gone.

Steve is waiting outside, just like he said. Max gives him a small smile. Some of the worry leaves his face as he returns the smile.

Steve guides her into his room, where Robin is sprawled out and snoring on the right side of the bed. Max snorts at the sight and Steve smirks at her.

“You okay being in the middle, little red?” Steve asks in a hushed tone. Max nods and climbs into the bed. Steve follows suit. 

She stares at the ceiling for a while, before turning toward Steve.

“If I do something, will you not be weirded out?” she asks.

“Max, I just spent a day in an underground Russian bunker and threw fireworks at a melted people goo monster. Nothing weirds me out anymore,” he replies. 

Max smacks his shoulder for the sarcasm, but his hiss of pain is cut off when she rolls over to lay on him. One arm is tucked close to her body, and the other lays across his chest.

It’s weird. She knows it is. She isn’t attracted to Steve or anything. He’s too old and not her type. Plus, she has Lucas. She just wants the comfort right now. She needs it.

“Goodnight Max,” Steve says, softly brushing her hair with his fingers.

“Goodnight Steve. Thank you,” she responds, before slowly drifting into a dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m bad at ending stories so having characters go to sleep is my cop out every time lmao
> 
> How do you feel about Billy’s note that I made? I tried so hard to get in character while making it lol like shaking and acting like him?? I looked crazy but I’m highkey proud of it lol
> 
> I’m halfway through a Dustin character study :) But the new college semester started so I might get busy :/


End file.
